Parties Require Some Child Participation

Mahomet Citizen Vol 156, No 22
June 3, 2009

Birthday parties are always such a special time for kids. If yours are anything like mine, they plan their parties all year long. They choose the theme, change it twelve times, and pick our the cake. They want to be included in planning the games, picking out the decorations and setting up for the party. This has been their dream all year long! And as parents, sometimes we let them participate and other times, when it’s not so convenient, we push them aside.

I am as guilt as anyone when it comes to not letting my kids fully participate. I have an idea of how I want the party to be and how I want things to look-perfect. But, there are so many ways to let your kids get involved in the making of their own party and lessons that they will learn along the way.

Not everyone has the same birthday party planning routine. I think that many times our lifestyles dictate the type of party we have for our kids as well as how we go about planning them. Will I buy or make the cards? What space do we have or will we need to rent something? Can I make a cake or will I need to order one? I realize that these are all factors in planning your child’s party.

But there’s something to be said for taking a step back from what we have in mind, what we have time for, what we want for our kids and letting them be involved with the process. This is a lesson I have learned and have gotten better at over the last couple of years. While I want to keep up with all the wonderful ideas in the magazines I read and what other kid’s parties are like, my children are just interested in helping, being a part of the process, throwing their ideas out and having a good, simple party.

Will your child put too much glue on the invitations? Will they come up with games that involve being blindfolded while having a dance party? Will they ask for an elephant? Will they make a mess while icing the cupcakes? Yes. The answer is yes. Your kids will not do everything perfectly and will have ideas that leave you with your eyes rolling.

The important part of planning your child’s party with them is that it gives them ownership and responsibility. They start to develop skills like following directions, making decisions and thinking outside the box. They will also help you to think outside of the box. Most importantly, though you are showing them that it’s important to you to include them, to take time out of your busy schedule to hang out with them, to celebrate who they have been, who they are and who they will become.

After all, who wants their kid crying at their birthday party? Or disappointed for days after because it’s not even a little bit of what they had in mind. The truth is that ten years down the road they won’t remember what the theme of their sixth or thirteenth birthday was. But they will remember making invitations, baking a cake or how their parents listened to them when they said they wanted to play football. They will remember spending time with you and you will have built a stronger relationship with them.