Learning to Listen

Dani Tietz
June 1
mahomemama

Learning to Listen

A few weeks after being hired as the editor of the Mahomet Citizen, Crystal Ligon agreed to meet with me as a potential writer. Our mutual friend Laura Bice suggested that we meet over lunch to discuss some of the ideas I had.

This was my first time meeting Crystal. I knew nothing about her, and I wasn’t sure what she knew about me. In these situations, I’m usually a passive observer. But I wanted to appear confident, willing to take on any stories she would let me cover.

As she looked through an array of writing samples, I chatted up a storm. I told her about writing as a guest columnist for the Citizen in months past, some website ambitions I had, my schedule and my kids. I talked through, over and around everything that was in my head. After noticing I was the one filling up our time, I apologized for being so talkative, and for at times cutting off her thoughts.

What struck me most about Crystal was that she just sat across the table from me, listening in a way that no one had ever listened to me before. She made eye contact, asked open-ended questions, then waited for me to finish talking, no matter where I went with my answer.

Over the past year, I have had a lot of ideas, I’ve asked things that others may not have asked, I’ve rambled from time to time, but no matter how busy Crystal is, she has never seemed distracted or annoyed. She’s never had an agenda when talking to me. She’s an observant listener who doesn’t interject her thoughts until it is her turn to talk.

I know. She’s a journalist. It’s her job to ask questions and listen. Journalists can’t be off in another world because they have to get their facts right on paper. And editors have to be in the moment because their moments are so fast-paced.

Most communication classes teach people how to speak. Few teach people how to listen. I think you can be trained to ask the right questions, and that you can practice listening. But you can’t fake interest. It takes a special person to be genuinely involved in discovering who people are.

Whether they agree with you or not, active listeners listen with open hearts and minds. They are respectful and patient. Through this, people want to share more and more of themselves because the listener gains their trust.

Crystal’s job has been to gather information, edit and produce a paper, but through earning the trust of both the community and the staff at the Citizen, people have felt comfortable their sharing ideas, writing and stories with her.

I am going to miss working with Crystal every week. She has helped me stretch my comfort zone, has encouraged me to follow through on my ideas, and has been an effective leader. I know that as she follows her ambitions, she will continue to touch more people’s lives with the way she simply listens.

I would also like to take these last few words to let you know that this will be my final column for now as I am going to explore some other options, too. I have been so blessed to have this opportunity, work with these incredible people, and to meet so many people within the community.

I have been bitten by a writing bug, one that I can’t explain. But the kids and I have a writing project we want to work on this summer, and I have other writing ideas I would like to pursue. Mahomet is my home, and I hope to continue to bring people together within this community, so I hope you’ll continue to join me on my website at www.mahomemama.com or on Facebook.